A diagnosis of infertility is emotionally a very distressing event. Infertility has been a source of sadness and despair since very early times. People normally assume and expect that they will be able to have children and start a family whenever they choose, but when a couple starts experiencing problem with that then it begins to create anxiety and if after medical workup a diagnosis of infertility is made then it leads to feelings of hopelessness and grief.
Definition Of Infertility: By definition infertility is a difficulty in conceiving despite having regular unprotected sex. There is no defined cutoff period after which a medical professional may determine a couple to be infertile but statistics show that normally if a couple is trying to conceive naturally more than 3 years with no success is less than 25%.
Infertility Statistics:
- About 6% of married women age 15-44 years in United states are unable to get pregnant after one year of unprotected sex.
- According to NHS statistics about 1 in 6 couples experience difficulties when trying to conceive which means that around 3,500,000 people are affected by this condition in UK.
- A study done in year 2006-1007 and published in Oxford journal concludes that internationally there is a 9% prevalence of infertility among which 56% of couples seek medical care.
Common Emotions Felt When Infertility Is Diagnosed:
- Women may feel angry on the fact that she is not being able to get pregnant.
- She may be jealous of other pregnant women or friends who can get pregnant easily.
- Feelings of guilt.
- A women may have feelings of inadequacy, perceiving her body as dysfunctional.
- There may be a significant strain on the relationship of the couple.
- Females usually feel isolated from her social circle and society.
- Women may put everything else in their lives on hold and will try to put all the energy, time and what ever needed to get pregnant.
- Many women delay making changes in their carrier, to the current housing situation just thinking that it is better to wait until the baby arrives.
- For some women there goes a cycle of hopefulness until the period arrives that leads to feelings of severe disappointment and depression.
- In case if infertility is due to male factor, the men may feel that his masculinity is challenged
- Many men try to keep their infertility a secret that leads to isolation. .
- Couples may feel difficulty with scheduled intercourse.
- Some may start using alcohol or drugs.
Effect on the Relationship Between the couple:
Infertility puts a great strain on the relationship between the couple especially if a problem lies with one of them.
- The affected partner fears to be left alone and isolated.
- The fertile partner may blame or feel angry towards the infertile partner.
- Agreeing on starting a treatment for infertility or going to options like adoption may also lead to conflicts.
- Timing sex around ovulation also leads to stress and emotional disturbances.
- Discussing treatment options with the doctor also breaks the privacy of the couples sex life.
- The lack of spontaneous sex and thought about conceiving may lead to erectile dysfunction in men and vaginal dryness in women.
How To Cope With Infertility: Although it is a heart breaking diagnosis for any couple desiring children but it is important to cope with it in order to continue living a normal life. How a couple deals with it depends on many factors like individuals own personality, religious beliefs, socioeconomic status, support from close friend and family etc.
1. Get The Information: Obtaining the information about the exact cause of infertility and the various treatment options available helps people feel that they can somewhat control the situation.
2. Address the Queries: People may have many questions and they need satisfying answers from health care professionals and infertility specialist. if answered and given time to ask the queries it helps them better understand the problem and ways to deal with it.
3. Good Communication: Speaking out the thoughts and discussing matters with the partner and close family members helps a lot. Also if a couple is seeking medical treatment is is important for both the patient and the doctor to communicate and make things clear to be understood.
4. Express the Feelings: The feelings of anger, guilt, sadness , may be expressed to supportive friends and family members and support groups. This helps in feeling relieved.
5. Counselling From A Therapist: Some couples may need counselling from a therapist that helps dealing a life after infertility diagnosis and ways to cope with the emotions. Also some couples may benefit from sex therapist if they are having any psychological issues related to sexual life.
6. Going For A Treatment: With the advancement of medical science most of the infertility related issues can be managed with proper treatment. It is important for a couple to decide on which treatment options are suitable and affordable for them and try to get the related information and the appropriate treatment.
7. Option For Adoption: Adopting a child who needs a family is a great option for couples who have a great desire to be parents.
8. Accepting Infertility: Sometimes accepting infertility and pursuing options like living child free can be a good choice for certain couples but it all depends on individuals choice and may also be decided after certain treatment failures. Accepting the situation may help to feel better and use the energy and time for some other beneficial work.
9 Get Help From Support Groups: Help from support groups, being with other people who have the same problem and discussing matters with those who understand is very helpful. Nowadays support groups could easily be found online too.
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