Forgiving someone who has done wrong to you and forgetting about it has a great impact on ones own well being and feelings of happiness. Few people realize this truth.
According to a famous personality
Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal, with an intent to throw it on someone else but instead you are the one getting burned.
It is never easy to forgive someone who has hurt you but that doesn't mean that we keep our own self at distress and discomfort just thinking about the revenge and staying angry forever.
This life has many ups and downs with experiences of suffering, loss, hurt, betrayal and injury but forgiving and forgetting will help let us go on and stay happy and content.
Definition of forgiveness as explained by Psychologists :
Psychologists define forgiveness as 'a shift in thinking' towards someone who has wronged you. It is explained as a feeling that the desire of taking revenge has decreased and instead a desire to do good has increased. Forgiveness is also a natural resolution in the grief process for any loss.
Forgiveness not necessarily means reconciliation:
If a person forgives another for the injustice done to him it is just his/her inner feelings and it does not necessarily mean to come together with the person he had suffered an injustice. After forgiving it is entirely up to the person himself either to reconcile or not. Sometimes even the person you forgive is not a part of your life anymore or has been deceased or you may think that the relationship with the concerned person may not be good for you.
Forgiveness Is Not Justice:
It is sometime easy to forgive someone who sincerely apologizes but sometimes justice needs to be given may be in the form of punishment by law or a compensation.
How To Forgive:
Forgiveness is a powerful choice which a person makes and it surely helps in a greater well being and stronger relationships.
Here are a few ways that may help you forgive:
1. Let go off the ill feelings in Your mind: It is better said then done but in order to truly forgive a person it is necessary to kick off all the ill and bitter feeling you have towards him in your mind. Once you get rid of the negative feelings you will feel more happier and content. It is not an overnight process and will take time. May be you can write it down to take them off your mind.
2. Be Honest with Yourself And Your God: Be sure to be honest and share your feelings with your God Who already knows what is inside your heart. Just trust in God and think positive and it will make you feel better.
3. Don't Try To change the Past: Understand the fact that past has gone and nothing could be done to change what already has happened. Try to make choices in the present that can be good for the future.
4. Be Patient: Again a very difficult process to go through practically but understand that staying patient for the hurt and loss you have suffered and forgiving and trying to forget will help you move forward in your new life.
5. Acknowledge the fact That we are all Human: and that we all can make mistakes.
6. Forgive not For others Benefit But for Your own Well being: It is important to understand that if you forgive someone it will not benefit them always but it will benefit yourself for sure by giving you a sense of peace in mind.
7. It is not the end of World: At times when we are really hurt it seems that it is the end of the world. Nothing can ever be better but this is not true. Take a step and try to look at your life and hope for a good time to come soon.
8. Put yourself in the Person's Shoes: At times you might think it is not possible to forgive because you were really hurt but for a moment put yourself in the person's shoes and you might understand it was not done by an intent to hurt you. That way it will be more easy for you to forgive and be at peace.
9. Write a letter of Forgiveness: This may help you express your inner feelings and take out the stress in your mind. this letter may or may not be given to a person who hurt you.
10. Think Of good things that Person did For You: May be in a relationship you are hurt by a person and it seems difficult for you to forgive, so try to think of all the good things that person did for you and it will surely clear your mind and help you forgive him/her.
11. Give yourself time to Cool: Feelings of anger and hatred after being hurt are normal and give yourself time to heal and cool. Later you will be in a much better position to forgive and forget.
12. Accept and listen To The Apology: It is very important to listen to the apology if the person apologizes since it clears the bad feelings and the mind of both the persons.
13. Focus your Energy Somewhere Else: It is very difficult to forget about the loss and hurt but instead of getting more sick feelings from the thoughts try to focus on something else more productive and good for your health. Enjoy relationship with other people who love and care for you and do an activity that is interesting for you and can make you feel happy.
12. Move Forward Instead of Looking back: Life has a lot for you in the future to come. Forget about the past and look into the forward with positive thoughts and hopes.
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