Martial relationships are particularly more more to conflicts because spouses live together with great intimacy and interdependence. These qualities makes the partners more vulnerable to each other.
The term conflict gives a picture for disagreement and misunderstanding in the mind but sometimes a successfully solved conflict between the spouses can even strength the bond of relationship and make things clear between the partners.
Most Frequent Reasons For A Conflict:
The most frequent topics of conflict between the spouses are usually matters like:
- Financial Problems
- Making decisions for children
- Family plannings
- Sex
- House work
- In-laws
- Jealousy and competition of being more superior
- Likes and dislikes for food
- Choice of Job
- Keeping secrets
- Having extramarital affairs etc....
Tips For A Successful Marriage and Ways To Avoid and Prevent Conflicts:
Although at times conflicts are unavoidable it is important for a married couple to try their best to keep their marriage successful and happy and prevent conflicts. Here are a few tips that may help:
1. Accepting and Adjusting to the Differences : It is important to understand that each partner is an individual with a different feelings and upbringings. Also men and women have their own ways of interacting and understandings. Once married each partner should understand this reality and try to adjust with the differences. Men and women have different ways of expressing their emotions with men mostly trying to avoid the emotion and feel it inside while women most often tend to raise concerns and problems.
2. Open Communication: A good communication can be difficult especially at times of conflict. But it is important as sometimes people hear a different message than what the speaker intended to say and this creates misunderstandings. Talking again on the same problem a a later time may help clear the things that might have been misunderstood before.
Partners can learn to communicate better by giving time to listening and understanding without going to conclusions too soon.
3. Forgive Each Other: It is important for the spouses to forgive each other for the day to day conflicts and clear up the feelings of hurt. Forgiveness enables the partners to stay emotionally connected and stay positive with their marriage. Forgiving makes the relationship grow even more stronger.
4. Work Together As A Team: Life after marriage may have a lots of problems. instead of going through conflicts if the spouses try to work together as a team for the problem solving it will be very helpful. Instead of insisting on ones own point of view or working against each other it is better to consider the opinion of your partner and try to solve out the problem.
5. Overcoming The Financial Stress: Couples may argue on many problems but money is by far the most frequent as well as a serious issue. Some times the issues concerning the job and the demand for a job with higher salary is made from the spouse. To solve out this issue it is important to cut out extra expenses, make a strict budget and work together to save money. Avoid investing money in gambling and also avoid debts.
6. Take A Break: While having an argument it is important to stop and take a break. Get yourself busy with something unrelated. Step out of the room and do something like watch TV or Read some magazine.
7. Changing Oneself First: It is very common for husbands and wives to overlook the mistakes of one own self and instead focus on the faults of their spouse. It is important to understand that the only person's behavior that one can change is that of one own self.. Therefore instead of trying to compel each other to change it is more effective to focus on one own self and adjust to the habits that will help you in your relationship.
8. Dealing With In-laws: In-laws are the focus of blame in many martial disputes. But there are many ways to maintain a good relationship with them.
- Remember that your spouse's parents and siblings know them and have lived with them for a longer time than you.
- Never give ideas to your spouse on ways how to have relations with his/her family.
- Avoid discussing your martial problems with your parents
- be forgiving
- Never prevent your spouse from meeting your in laws.
- Remember that no one can interfere or influence your marriage unless you yourself involve and allow them to do so.
9. Dealing With Conflicts On Parenting: Again always remember that a child needs both a mother and a father. never impose your decisions over other's. Work together and make a good and happy family for your child.
10. Problems Related to Sex: This is the topic mostly not spoken of but may be the main issue of conflicts. Many married couples are not satisfied with the sexual relationship with their spouse but instead of trying to sort out the main problem , it later on goes on to have fights over small matters and loss of temper. Couples should seek medical help and counselling if needed for better relationships and a happy marriage.
Good Luck to All the Married Couple. Have a Happy Life Together
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